The Gift of Your Insanity

And here I am,
Sitting alone in a dark room,
With my eyes wide open,
Focusing on nothing.

I sit here quietly mellowing over dangerous, irretrievable words,
Words that penetrate my now weak exterior,
Hitting at me like wild bullets,
Harming my inner sensitivity.

My heart and soul now badly bruised,
With wounds that won’t heal with time.
My tears no longer a sorrow that you feel,
But rather the anger of despise.

I wait here patiently reminding myself of a forgotten strength,
I close my eyes from the darkness around me,
Only to be flooded by more.
I have become the lie, beautiful and free in my own righteous mind,
As I am forced to regret the warmth you once gave to me.

But here I sit, exposed and vulnerable,
Speaking words of no sense and seemingly no meaning,
Speaking with the wild eyes of a mad person,
As I adore and preach,
The insanity that you gave to me.

08/05/2008
©AGK

Daddy, I Remember

Daddy, I remember the look you got in your eyes everytime you picked me up and embraced me in your arms. I remember the pride you took in your little girl, the girl you were sure would make you proud with all that she does.

Daddy, I remember the days when you used to carry me on your back when I was too tired to walk. I remember how you cradled me in you arms as you rocked me to sleep. I remember how I would lie in bed as you read to me and watched as I drifted away.

Daddy, I remember how you would wake up in the middle of the night to make me something to eat because I was hungry. I remember how you would feed me when I was sick and bring me my medicine.

Daddy, I remember how you came running when I woke up in terror from a bad dream, screaming for you. I remember how you would sleep next to me and how I would wrap my arms and legs around you, knowing you would keep me safe, knowing you were my security.

Daddy, I remember how you panicked every time I was injured. I remember how angry you got every time someone hurt me, because you were not there to protect me.

Daddy, you made me believe that I was invincible because I had you – my invincible shield. You made me believe that no one could ever hurt me and no harm would ever come to me, because I had you – my invincible shield.

Then why.
Why did you let him touch me!
Why did you let him get so close!
I was so young.
You should have seen!
You should have known!
Daddy, why didn’t you protect me?

Daddy, now that you know I see you try so hard, I see how much you want to protect me from the evil in this world. I see how much you love me, I see how much you care. I know I am your little girl – the apple of your eye, centre of your existence.

Daddy, you give me everything any daughter could ever want from their father, and I will always love you more than anyone in this world.

Daddy, you are amazing.
Daddy, you are my hero.

07/04/2006
©AGK

Talking Eyes

29/08/2006

Looking into Her Eyes, I see love,
Looking into Her Eyes, I see hate,
Looking into Her Eyes, I see passion;
I wonder, is it passionate love or hate?

Looking into Her Eyes, I see pain,
Looking into Her Eyes, I see anger,
Looking into Her Eyes, I see suffering;
I wonder, will Her anguish ever end?


When I look at Her, I see all of Her,
When I look into Her Eyes, I look into Her soul;
I see everything.

From a distance or near-by, I would recognize Her Eyes,
From a distance or near-by, my heart would call upon Hers.

Her Eyes tell a story of triumph and pain,
Her Eyes write of fiction, legend and myth,
Her Eyes have experienced it all, seen it all;
Her Eyes tell a story.

Her Eyes give character,
Her Eyes give depth,
Her Eyes give meaning, to the heart I once kept.

The colour – deep and dark,
Reflecting Her feelings and thoughts;
Thoughts - changing all the time,
Changing like the unpredictable sea,
Changing like the unexpected winds.

She need not speak,
She need not whisper a word,
Her Eyes talk.
Whether anguish or joy;
Her Eyes talk.

I know Her, because I know those eyes.
I know Her, because I recognize the way Her Eyes talk to mine,
The way Her Eyes convey Her inner most intimate thoughts and feelings;
The way They communicate with mine.

She need not speak,
She need not whisper a word,
Looking into Her Eyes is when I go weak,
When I can not speak,
When nothing is heard,
And nothing is said.

Our Eyes lock, nothing to break the gaze;
Our Eyes lock, our hearts talk, our souls hold hands and our spirits dance together.
Her Eyes and My Eyes,
Our Eyes will talk forever.

©AGK