Time Bring with It

20/05/2006

Time - the one thing no one can run away from, but it can run away from you.
Time - the one thing that is limited yet unlimited.
Time - the one thing we moan we have too little of or groan we have too much.
Time - something we either take advantage of or let it pass us by slowly...very slowly, as if watching the sand fall through the hourglass;
Feeling every second;
Watching as it slips away.

Time brings peace, contentment, experience, knowledge and wisdom.
Time brings unhappiness, distress, anxiety, fear, regrets and misfortune.
I often wonder why time is time.
Why is it called time?
Why should it be so important?

No one understands.
No one realises.
Time has brought me pain, anger, suffering and disgust.
Time has robbed me of what was due to me...what I didn't have but everyone else had.
Time forced maturity upon me.
It opened my eyes to the big, bad world.
Young, I was, sweet and naive.
Deprived - it was taken away from me.

Don't touch me!
You have no right.
I have my space as all people do.
Who are you to invade that?
Who are you to come into my space, my place and protective zone?

You…are...no one.
You are not special.
Time has shown me that.
Time has brought with it insight, clarity and understanding.
Trust no one.
Trust yourself.

Wait, wait! Wait for the answers; time will bring them.
I waited.
I am waiting.
How much longer?
When do I get them?
When does it all end?

Trauma…fear.
Taunted and haunted by the dreadful past.
The past - time has passed.
I wish upon my future.
I wonder with curiosity.
I wait with anticipation.
Does time change what the future holds based on what the past held or what today brings?
Is anything guaranteed in life...except death?

Death…
Time brings with it death.
Death is guaranteed.
Why is only death guaranteed?
It was once said and today I still ask this question: "Why is it that when we are born, we are crying and everyone else is smiling but when we die, we are smiling and everyone else is crying?"
I wonder...
Should it not be reversed?
Should we all not cry to be born into this tainted world?
Should we all not smile to know we are leaving hell and going to heaven?


"Live life to the full."
Should I bungee jump?
Climb Everest?
Is that living life to the full?
Is life on earth?

"Live life to the full."
Care for those that don't always care about you.
Be sincere though at times, they are not sincere to you.
Be a friend - a person there through the good and bad;
A person who does not judge others.
A person who will keep the same perception of you irrespective of what cards life has dealt you.

Love your neighbour.
Why should I love my neighbour if he doesn't love me?
God loves my neighbour, therefore, I will too.

I hate time.
I'm lost, bewildered, confused and muddled up within the complications of my own life - unaware of where I am going and why.
Going forward, I am, but only because time is taking me there;
Not because I know where I am going.

I lack direction;
Or will it come with time?

©AGK